You Can Kill Me Now
by lallyzippo
Summary: It's time for the dreaded MARRIAGE PROJECT! But what happens when Tala and Lee switch the couples around?  Crackalious goodness, that's what! [Various pairings] [Characters OOC] [High School Fic]
1. Can I please die now?

**This story is REALLY unoriginal, but I thought it would be funny to write one.**

**Disclaimer: I own this fic, however I don't own Beyblade.**

**Girl's POV**

"MARRIAGE PROJECT?" The entire class screamed.

Mr. Straight just told the entire class they were gonna have to pair up for some 'marriage project'. Everyone was freaking out and everything like that and stuff, except for some of the, um, 'special kids' like Michael who was smiling perversely. Obviously, everyone around him had scooted their desks at least 10 feet.

Matilda's mouth wasn't hanging, although you could see the shock in her eyes, which were now about the size of basketballs. Her friend Julia was more, well uh, _expressive_. In other words, she was screaming non-stop about how this was harassment and that she would sue and stuff like that. "JUL!" Matilda grabbed her friend and slapped her across the face. "Calm. Down."

"NO! I refuse to calm down! ThisistotalharrassmentandIdemandtoseealawyer!WaitIdon'thavealawyer!Downwiththesestupidmarriageprojects!"

Matilda blinked, and then pushed back her pink hair. "What's so disturbing is that I actually understood all of that…"

"Amazing." Em and Matilda turned around to see Hilary. "Whatever she said, I agree."

"SEE! SHE AGREES!" Julia yelled pointing at Hil.

"She didn't even hear what you said," Matilda replied flatly.

Julia rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Emily, who was sitting by Hilary added, "Well, at least we get to pick our partners."

"What good does that do us?" Matilda cocked an eyebrow. "The guys in here are, well uh, not-attractive? And besides that, half the girls in here, maybe more, are going to be clinging to Kai. I bet he's just as excited about this thing as we are."

"Matilda does make a good point, Emily." Hilary chuckled nervously.

"I wonder what Mariah's doing?" (Matilda)

"Well, isn't it obvious? She's gonna try to get hooked up with Ray." (Hilary)

"Grrr…I hate that stupid Pink-head!" Julia snarled.

**(A/N: The next paragraphs are long, so please try to stick with it!)**

Indeed, Julia and Mariah did NOT have the best history. Of course Julia's best friend Matilda thought she was fine, but of course, Matilda thought everyone was good mostly. Mariah had once called Julia 'blonde' because of the brunette's blond highlights. Julia called her 'Pinky'. There was this HUGE catfight, and both contestants went home with many bruises. Matilda had scolded her for the entire night about how stupid they were and about how her crush would judge her because of Julia's behavior.

Julia followed the common stereotypes, hated cheerleaders (Mariah was one of them actually), thought people were losers if they played Yu-Gi-Oh at lunch (although she secretly admitted to Matilda that she actually could understand what they were doing), and expected all Goths to be quiet, glaring jerks. Although, she did know how to smile and have a good time. Matilda on the other hand was quiet, and thoughtful. However she was a total idealist, and thought everyone did most things out of the goodness of their hearts. She wasn't stupid, just sort of innocent. The word 'fun' had been foreign to her until she met Julia, and made friends with Hilary and Emily. And although it may sound weird, she had never in her life had a crush; well, until know.

They may sound like complete opposites, but then again they weren't really. It was just their personalities; their interests were nearly identical (with the exception of some). One thing stood out above all: They worshiped video games and anime. Couldn't get enough of 'em. Of course their parents were very picky about ratings, but still, games like Zelda, Fire Emblem, Tales of Symphonia, Harvest Moon, and stuff like that. Well, there was some things they disagreed about, such as Ocarina of Time Link (Julia : Hawt guy! (drool)) vs. Wind Waker Link (Matilda: He's so funny!), and Roy vs. Link. Matilda also had a fetish for Sonic the Hedgehog, which Julia seemed to have no taste for. **(A/N: HA! Get it? Y'know her bitbeast is pierce hedgehog…and…nevermind) **Then again, Matilda had no taste for basketball (which Julia liked). Especially ever since Johnny knocked Julia down on the court purposely. Anyone who tried to do ANYTHING to Matilda's BFF, suddenly turned into her mortal enemy. Forever. And always. And for all of eternity. Johnny was actually the only person Matilda couldn't stand.

Emily sighed. "Like I was saying, at least he's not drawing names out of a hat or anything."

"True." (Matilda)

"We can only hope." (Hilary)

"Yeah…" (Julia)

"Everyone remember! The couple with the hightesth grade will geth a $100 dollar gifth card to Besthbuy!" The bell rang and everyone got up grumbling. Mr. Straight walked to the door, and then turned around. "Oh! I almosth forgoth! I'll be drawing your nameths out of a hath! Come bachk afther lunch to sthee who will be parthnersth!" With that he left the room. **(A/N: I'm not trying to stereotype here people! Not all people with lisps are gay! I kinda have a lisp right now, and I'm not gay!)**

Complete. Silence…Until people started screaming. "NOOOOOOOO! YOU JINXED IT! WAY TO GO, EMILY! IT'S. ALL. YOUR. FAULT!" Julia said shaking Emily uncontrollably.

**Guy's POV**

"Aw, great! Why do we have to do a stupid project?" Tyson whined.

"C'mon, Tyson! It'll be fine!" Max patted his friend's back cheerily.

"Max, I don't think you understand what's going on!"

"Oh, sure I do! But it's not like its real or anything."

"Max…" Tyson growled. "We'll have to work with some annoying girl for the entire week, doing retarded stuff! AND WHO KNOWS WHO I'LL BE PAIRED UP WITH? What if it's…" Tyson looked around warily "…Hilary? I WOULD DIE!"

"I'm sure it will be Tyson. Just don't freak out or anything, and we'll both survive!"

"Max…What if you're paired up with MingMing? WHAT THEN?"

Max paled. "GREAT TYSON! JUST GREAT! YOU RUINED MY ENTIRE DAY! WITH THAT COMMENT!" He started frothing at the mouth.

"Uh, woah hey Max! I was kidding!"

"YOU CALL THAT A JOKE? I'LL GIVE YOU A JOKE!" Max turned around and smashed Tyson in the family jewels before running down the hall screaming about killer ninja turtles. Tyson was in too much pain to really notice.

Just then he noticed Kenny standing above him. "Do I want to know?"

"Prolly not…" Tyson slurred.

"Uh, let me help you to the lunch room."

"Thanks, Kenny," Tyson smiled weakly as he limped with Kenny to the lunch room.

**VNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNV**

"So Max still hasn't been around?" Tyson asked between bites.

"Not really…I think he scared every one with his rants about the 'evil ninja turtles'," Ian replied with quotes.

"I hope he's okay…"

"Don't worry, Chief. Max is pretty durable," Oliver assured.

"No, I meant mentally…"

"Oh…We may have a problem."

"Hey, anyone see Lee or Tala?" asked Spencer looking around.

Everyone looked at the two empty spots. "Weird…They were there a second ago…" (Steven)

**Lee and Tala…**

"Okay, um, why are we doing this again?" Lee asked as Tala picked the classroom's lock.

Tala rolled his eyes in disgust. "Duh. We're going to see who got partnered up."

"…Why? Couldn't we just wait like everyone else to just HEAR who they were?"

"GOSH! Are you really that stupid Lee?"

"Well, why don't you enlighten me, oh wise one?" Lee replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Shut up. We're going to mess with everyone's pairings."

"Well, sounds like fun, but is there an underlying motive? Something we'll gain from?"

The door clicked and Tala pushed it open. "That's actually one of your smarter questions Lee." If this was anime, Lee would've had a little angry mark on his forehead. "I want the gift card."

Lee cocked an eyebrow. "That's all?"

"Well, I thought I might do my team some favors…"

"Oh, so you'll put Ian and Brian together?" Lee snickered, only to feel a swift kick to his stomach.

"No, idiot."

"GAH! Fine! Let's just go in there and get the job done!"

"Hehehe…"

**First chapter complete! I felt like writing this, and I hope you enjoy it! There might be a few plot twists, and although I mentioned some characters, the main couples will be the main characters (duh). There is going to definitely be TyHil, because it's the best pairing ever. R&R!**


	2. Seriously, KILL ME NOW!

**Bwahahaha! I'm ba-ack! Thank you to all who reviewed! Now those who have been looking foward to this chapter, might want to go back and read it again. Emma is now Julia, and Jewel is now Matilda.**

**BeyMistress05****: I found your review especially helpful. I may not use your pairings, but some of them, I may.**

**RFR-TnL****: I took your advice! I think the story will be WAY cooler this way, and people will like it more.**

**Ragingmongoose: Heehee…well there's a funny story to that; you see…I took out the OC's. I'M SORRY EM! DON'T KILL ME! o-o;**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade. (sniff) Yes, this world is cruel…**

RING!

Everyone filed back into the class nervously. Some were being dragged in by there friends, except for Michael, who skipped happily into the class. People guessed he was on something. Technically he was, but not intentionally. Cenotaph and Lupinex had spiked his cocoa that morning. Ever since that whole "destroying their dark layer" thing at the ballpark, they had been really POed.

Anyway, Julia was holding Matilda's arm shaking like a baby. "I'm too young, I'm too young, I'M TOO YOUNG!" Normally, people would've turned around to see what the loud noise was, but sadly, many people were doing this, including Kenny and Oliver, who were gripping Tyson and Enrique.

"GET OFF ME YOU PANSY!" Enrique shoved Oliver.

"NO! I CAN'T BE ALONE!" Oliver started hyperventilating.

"KENNY! THAT HURTS!"

"CAN'T…DO…THIS!" Kenny got into fetal position.

Well, the guys weren't freaking out as bad as the girls (excluding Oliver and Kenny…), but they were freaking out in there own special ways. Meaning, the demolition boys were trying to blow their way out of the classroom along with Johnny, Eddy, and Steven. Enrique would've joined them if Oliver hadn't leeched himself to him. Kevin and Sanguinex were climbing around on the ceiling trying to bite their way through the vents. Gary sat there drooling like an idiot, while Ray, Robert, Miguel, the Bega bladers, and Tyson were making small ritual sacrifices to "The almighty God of Luck". No one saw the Saint Shields. Rumor was they transferred at the last minute.

"Man, the Saint Shields are so lucky!" Raul screamed nearly ripping his hair out.

"Yeah! Who knows what they'll be doing while we're in here suffering!" (Garland)

**Saint Shields…**

The teacher spun in circles and landed on Ozuma and Dunga. "HA! You two are first! KISS NOW!"

Dunga and Ozuma: O.O;

Miriam and Joseph: (takes cameras out)

"We would've had better chances in that marriage project…" (Ozuma)

"You read my mind." (Dunga)

"DO IT NOW OR YOU FAIL!"

Dunga and Ozuma: (gulp)

**Ahem. Back to the chaos…**

Everyone had _seemingly_ calmed down. Although, mentally they were still freaking out…

"_OH…MY…GOSH! HOWCOULDTHISHAPPENTOME?"_ (Julia)

"_I'm failing…"_ (Brian)

"_Ugh, all the girls here are losers." _(Johnny)

"_I hope I get paired up with Ray!"_ (Mariah and various fangirls)

"_Heheh…they have no idea who they're with."_ (Lee)

"_Great…Are we gonna have little egg things?"_ (Matilda)

"_Foooooooood…"_ (Gary)

"_Not Hilary, not Hilary!"_ (Tyson)

"_EVIL NINJA TURTLES!"_ (Max, who still happens to be running down the hallway)

The door opened and a woman walked in. "Hello, class! I'm going to be substituting for Mr. Straight!"

Eddy looked at her curiously. "What happened to him?"

"Oh, he disappeared during lunch break!"

**In the janitor's closet…**

"I love you Henry!"

"I love you too, Mr. Straight!"

**AHHHH! LEAVING NOW!**

"Anyway, I'm Ms. Jack-o-Lantern."

"Jack-o-Lantern?" asked Tyson.

"Yes, that's right."

"Who has the last name JACK-O-LANTERN? Seriously. Other than the Dark Bladers?"

"YOU MAKIN' FUN OF MY NAME FOO'?"

"Uh, kinda?"

Ms. Jack-o-Lantern got Tyson in a head lock and through him halfway across the classroom. "…" The entire class stared at her (excluding the Dark Bladers, who were cheering. I mean, wouldn't you be happy if someone whopped a jerk who was making fun of your last name?) for a minute until she continued.

"Now, the couples have been decided. When I call the couples, they will come forward and receive their 'baby'. Your 'baby' is a virtual simulator with it's own system. After you are coupled up, you will be expected to be with your partner 24/7. First off is…Max and…Hm? Is there a Max?"

"EVIL NINJA TURTLES!" Max ran down the hallway.

"Err, we'll get back to those two. Okay next is…Tyson and Hilary!"

Tyson and Hilary: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Now, now. Please stop screaming. I'm serious. SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Tyson and Hilary immediately shut up, and proceeded forward. "Now, what will you name it?"

Tyson thought for a minute and said, "DRAGOON!"

The class was either sweat-dropping or laughing their asses off.

"Tyson!" Hilary growled. "First off, WHAT THE HECK? WHO NAMES THEIR KID DRAGOON? Second, it's a girl."

"How do you know that?"

Hilary pointed to a little pink mark on the status screen.

"Oh."

Hilary smiled triumphantly. "Ha! Well, in that case we'll name it Hilary!"

"HILARY? NO WAY!"

"YOU GOTTA BETTER NAME, TYSON?

Tyson opened his mouth, then shut it and thought for a second before replying, "Err, Susie!"

"Susie? NO HILARY!"

"SUSIE!"

"HILARY!"

Tyson and Hilary then noticed people were eating popcorn. To avoid embarrassment, they just went with Joan. I know, I have no idea where they got it either.

"Ahem," Ms. Jack-o-Lantern adjusted her glasses. "Next is…Ray and Mariah!"

Ray shrugged. Better than most. Mariah stood up and cheered for a second before realizing what she was doing. Then she ran down to the front.

They got their 'baby' and Mariah named it Marcus because Ray didn't really care.

Ms. Jack-o-Lantern pulled the list out again. "Okay, next is MingMing and…Ian!"

Ian immediately hopped out the window; intentionally because it was on the fifth floor hoping to kill himself. Kenny hopped out after him with a knife to ensure his demise.

MingMing sat back contently. While everyone else stared like this: O.O

Lee turned to Tala. "I thought were doing your friends favors."

"If by 'favors' you mean make their lives miserable, then yes."

"…Oh well! We'll get the paramedics down there in an hour or two! Okay…Julia and…Brooklyn!"

Matilda slapped her forehead. _"Oh boy…"_

Brooklyn AND Julia's jaws were dropped. They both stood up and started yelling at the teacher.

"Ms. Jack-o-Lantern! You can't be serious! I am NOT working with that hot-headed bitch!"

"BITCH? I'm not getting married to some psycho pigeon-boy!"

"PIGEON BOY?"

"PIGEON BOY!"

"Well you're a TREE SNIFFER!"

"GASP! HOW'D YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT? STALKER!"

"PLEASE! EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT THAT!"

"I didn't know…" Kevin said. Brooklyn and Julia flashed looks of murder at him. "Well, y'know…just sayin'…meep!"

They turned to face each other again.

"WELL, YOU ENSLAVE ANIMALS!"

"Shhh…nobody knows that yet! AND BESIDES! YOU'RE A JOINT SMOKER!"

"AM NOT! YOU'RE BALD!"

"Uh, EXCUSE ME? HAIR! THERE! ON MY HEAD!" Brooklyn pointed at his hair.

"IT'S A WIG!"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? GOSH! YOU'RE SO IMMATURE!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I SHOOT YOU!" Ms. Jack-o-Lantern screamed. People would swear they saw flames surrounding her. **(A/N: I think I'm gonna break my shift key…)**

Julia and Brooklyn hurried to the center of the class in fear of death. This teacher after all, had just indirectly caused Ian's death; maybe Kenny's. She had also threatened Hilary, Tyson, and now Brooklyn and Julia with death. Everyone was suddenly starting to miss their teacher; even if he was gay. Well, except Brian, after Mr. Straight had kept hitting on him and everything. Actually, Brian was starting to like their substitute.

'_Hm, her evil way of screaming and evilly threatening people is evilly, evil!'_ (Brian)

"Okay, you two! It's a boy! What will you name it?"

To avoid embarrassment, Julia and Brooklyn just huddled and discussed a name for a few minutes, and then decided on 'Anthony'. Brooklyn had wanted something mythological, like Zeus, but Julia wanted something like Tony. Anthony pretty much evened it out.

Julia stomped back to her desk with the 'baby'. "This SUCKS!" she whispered to Matilda.

"I think we all know that," Matilda replied. Julia and Brooklyn might prove to be more devastating than Tyson and Hilary. _'This is just sad…'_ Matilda thought to herself.

"Let's hope they don't kill each other," Emily told Matilda. Matilda just nodded.

Ms. Jack-o-Lantern was about to name the next couple, when Max came in. "Hi! Is it safe?"

"NO!" the class shouted. Max immediately turned around and ran continuing his rants about the evil ninja turtles. Ms. Jack-o-Lantern didn't seem too happy about this, as she ran after him. "COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE CRAP SACK!"

People sat there for a minute, and burst into cheers. They were free! "At least Mr. Straight isn't here!" Emily said happily.

Hilary, Julia, and Matilda gave her dangerous looks. "We're warning you, DON'T JINX IT!"

Just then, Mr. Straight walked in. "Hello class!"

Everyone: "NOOOOOO!"

"YOU JINXED IT AGAIN, EMILY!" Julia yelled.

And, as if by magic, Ms. Jack-o-Lantern walked right back into the classroom with Max, who was tied up and gagged. "Its okay, Mr. Straight. I can handle the class."

"THANK YOU!" Mr. Straight ran out the door faster than you could say superfragilisticexpialidocious.

"I wonder where he's going in such a hurry…" wondered Claude.

**The Straight Cam…**

Mr. Straight opened the janitor's closet again. "I'm back!"

"Oh, good! Where were we?"

**LEAVING!**

"Alrighty then!" Ms. Jack-o-Lantern pulled the list out AGAIN. Matilda began to wonder how long this was going to friggen take. "Max and Emily!"

Emily's jaw dropped, and Max was just sitting there yelling muffled noises. The teacher wouldn't allow Max to be set free, so Emily had to get the 'baby' and name it and stuff. She went back to her seat with 'Kaleb' and the teacher began to call out the rest of the class.

After many black-outs, much screaming, threats, suing, insults, gunshots (compliments of Ms. Jack-o-Lantern), people attempting jump out windows (unfortunately, Ms. Jack-o-Lantern had shut it tightly), harassment, and child abuse, Matilda's names was called.

"Matilda and…"

Matilda crossed her fingers.

"Johnny!"

Yeah. Turns out I really am mean. Matilda sat there emotionlessly, not believing what just happened. Johnny was in the back swearing his ass off. Matilda stood up quietly and went up to the front, as Johnny stomped his way up. People in the surrounding classrooms thought there was an earthquake going on.

**In one of the surrounding classrooms:**

"OMIGOSH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" (Teacher)

(Class runs out screaming)

**Back to the Nightmare:**

"A GIRL? I WANNA BOY!"

Matilda gritted her teeth. "It's what we got. We're naming it Amelia."

"Psh, fine! I don't care!"

Matilda took the simulator and sat down.

After all the couples had been called out, people were about ready to murder one another and Max had been untied. "Alright class! Remember! 24/7 or you fail! Oh, I guess I forgot to call the paramedics for Kenny and Ian! Oh, well!"

Max looked up. "OMIGOSH! YOU KILLED KENNY!"

**NVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVN**

The couples walked out in either insults or silence. Brooklyn and Julia were about to strangle each other, Max was singing "The Song That Gets on Everybody's Nerves" and it really WAS getting on Emily's nerves. Tyson and Hilary were arguing, as usual. And Johnny was rambling on and on about something or other while Matilda walked in silence clinging to Julia.

"PIGEON BOY!"

"TREE SNIFFER!"

"Gosh! Won't you two shut up? I'm trying to talk about why boys are better than girls!" Johnny said.

"EXCUSE ME?" Julia made everyone wince.

"Um, I slightly disagree with that. Girls and boys are equal, having both their strengths and weaknesses; however it is someone's personality that makes them enjoyable."

Julia stared at Brooklyn. "Huh, that one of the few you've said that I agree with."

"Thank you."

"…But you're still bald."

"WHA? I'M NOT BALD!"

"GOSH! Why did nearly EVERYONE get paired up with people they hate?" Tyson rubbed his head where Hilary hit him.

"Not everyone got paired up with people they dislike, Tyson," Matilda replied.

"HEY GUYS!" Everyone looked up to see Ray and Mariah waving at them.

"Like those two?" (Emily)

"Yeah." (Matilda)

"How are you guys?" Mariah asked when she got close.

"Do you actually need an answer? Gosh, you're stupid!"

Mariah threw Julia and angry look.

"We were going to the library, you guys wanna come?" asked Ray.

"Library? Why?" Johnny asked confused as Emily whacked Max over the head trying to get him to shut up.

"Uh, the written part?" Ray replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"WRITTEN PART?" (Everyone, except Max who is dazed.)

"Yeah, you have to do it together, and it's 20 fricken pages long!"

Brooklyn got on his knees and looked to the sky. "Why did you do this to me God? WHY?"

"Well, Ray and I are off to the library! Just remember to charge 'the kids' on your computer tonight!" Mariah and Ray ran off, leaving everyone else freaked out.

Suddenly Matilda said, "I'm going to the bathroom."

Julia walked with her a ways (to get away from Brooklyn), and asked, "You seem to be handling this horrible disaster well.

"I've decided if Johnny wants to be rude, it's his problem. I'm not going to let this ruin my month," she replied flatly.

"Wow, that's mature of you."

"Thank you," Matilda replied as she stepped into the bathroom. Once inside…"DAMMIT! WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS! SCREW STRAIGHT TO HELL! I'LL JOHNNY IN HIS SLEEP IF I HAVE TO! WHY? WHY MEEEEEEEEE?" She yelled as she banged her head against the door repeatedly.

Meanwhile, Lee was sitting in a tree above Johnny, Brooklyn, Max, Emily, Hilary, and Tyson. "Hahaha…they have no idea what we've done! MUAHAHAHA-AH!" he screamed as he fell out of the tree. Lee landed at Hilary's feet.

"Um, Lee…why were you in that tree?" Tyson asked.

"OMIGOSH! It rhymes!" :D

They stared at Max for a second, and then Lee replied, "Uh…nothing!" He looked around with shifty eyes and then ran off laughing maniacally.

Johnny, Brooklyn, Emily, Hilary, and Tyson: O.O;

Max:D

**Took me a while to type this whole thing out. 10 whole pages! Yay:D Note that Max won't necessarily always be like this, but he will be sometimes. R&R!**


	3. A fight in the cafeteria? DIE!

**Hello! Thanx for the reviews people! They really drive me to keep writing! Tell your friends about this fic and stuff; get more people to read it!**

**Disclaimer: Beyblade is awesome…And I don't own it.**

Well, the couples were back at school the next day. The guys were supposed to have taken home 'the kids' for that day. But things weren't going very, uh, smoothly…

**Julia&Brooklyn**

"WHADDYA MEAN YOU FORGOT TO CHARGE HIM?" Julia screamed at Brooklyn, and slammed her hands on his desk.

"SORRY! I was playing with my feathered friends and…"

Julia cracked her knuckles.

"Please don't hurt me…meep!"

**Emily&Max**

"You forgot to charge to charge him!"

"We were supposed to?"

"YES!"

"Don't blame me! Something happened during those moments extreme silliness that made me forget a lot…Why have you been following me around anyway?"

"…" (Emily)

"Do you like me?" :D

"…No," Emily replied as she brought a book down on Max's head.

**Hilary&Tyson**

"So, you actually charged her? Impressive…"

"Yep! Of course it is! All I had to do was shock her with 50,000 volts of electricity!"

Hilary: O.O "You ingrate! The systems are sensitive! AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PLUG IT INTO THE COMPUTER!"

"DON'T KILL ME!" (Tyson)

**Ray&Mariah**

"Did you charge Marcus, Ray?" Mariah asked sitting down.

"Uh, Mariah? Need I remind you that the closest thing we, or anyone from our village for that matter, have to technology is indoor plumbing."

"Oh, yeah…"

**Mathilda&Johnny**

"You didn't charge him, why?"

"Uh, I was at home playing golf."

"You don't even have a golf course!"

"How do you know that?"

Mathilda sighed and pulled something out of her bag. "You can get brochures on your castle and everything. It mentions no golf course."

Johnny thought for a minute, and then whipped out a cell phone. "Yeah, I'd like to buy it…the whole thing…Yeah, uh-huh…NO YOU CANNOT HAVE MY FLUFFY!...Okay, thanks, bye." He hung up. "Now I do!"

Mathilda: o.-;

**VNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNV**

RING!

All the couples went to class. Instead of an orderly line, they were screaming at each other or walking in complete silence. Even Lee and Tala seemed to be unable to get their partners in without a fight. Seems they weren't too fond of the boys.

"C'mon Salima!" Lee whined.

Salima grumbled and followed with her head down.

Meanwhile, Tala was trying to drag Monica into the room without her totally freaking out; because if she DID happen to freak out, Crusher might hunt him down and take his life (or so he feared…)

**(A/N: Just came up with those off the top of my head. Don't support those pairings)**

Eventually everyone got seated. They waited for Mr. Straight to show up in awkward silence. There were some nasty glares and some whispered threats (except for Ray and Mariah, since they were the only two who didn't really mind each other all that much). Especially between Spencer and Queen, who glared threateningly at each other for a long time. Kai was the only one who was tardy (surprisingly…). It figures since his partner, **(A/N: I shall now make an OC since I'm out of girls from Beyblade)** Emma, had been clinging to him all day. Yeah, she was one of those rabid fangirls who stalked people. For Eddy and Steven, it was just kind of awkward. I mean, they weren't gay or anything, except they were an assigned couple.

Mr. Straight burst through the door, carrying his suitcase grumbling about something or other. He slammed his suitcase down on his desk and snatched up a piece of chalk. "Okay, classth," he dictated. "Today, you vill be taking your kidsth home togeter! You're getthing a budget, and the two of you need thoo decthide on how thoo spend ith. That'sth it for today!" He finished writing on the board, slammed the chalk down, picked up his suitcase, and ran out the door.

Silence. Then cheering. YAY! Mr. Straight the gay teacher was gone!...Then Mr. Gideon popped into he room. "Hello class!" Groaning.

'_Hm, what could have possibly happened to our lovely, yet evil substitute?'_ (Brian)

**VNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNVNV**

"We are NOT spending all the cash on a Mustang, TYSON!" Hilary slammed her lunch tray down on the company's table.

"What? Mustang's are cool!"

Hilary rolled her eyes. "It's not VITAL!"

"Uh-huh!" Tyson retorted.

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), the other couples weren't doing so hot either. Julia was about to destroy Brooklyn for insisting on donating all of their money to the humane society, Ray was trying convince Mariah that buying all the clothes at the Gap was NOT the greatest idea, and Mathilda was trying to get the fact that they didn't have unlimited cash through Johnny's thick skull. Max and Emily were surprisingly enough, getting along just fine. Max pretty much let Emily do what she wanted since he had pretty much figured out she was way more intelligent than he.

"Really Em! You're way smarter than anyone here anyway!"

Emily blushed. She wasn't used to compliments. "Er, thanks?"

Mathilda sighed and slapped her head as Johnny rambled on and on about how in real life he wouldn't have flippin budget and stuff like that. Why? Why did she have to be paired up with Johnny, out of ALL the people in the entire world! Why couldn't she have been paired up with_ him?_

Mathilda's eyes wandered to where he was sitting. Johnny didn't notice as he continued his ranting.

**At the Demolition Boys Table (excluding Ian, who is no longer with us)**

"I wonder what happened to Ms. Jack-o-Lantern?" Brian thought out loud.

"Why should you care?" Tala said between bites. "She was evil."

"Exactly…"

Kai, Tala, and Spencer stared at him for a few minutes before scooting away.

"Where's Queen?" Tala asked Spencer.

Spencer looked around for a minute and then whispered, "I locked her in the bathroom."

**xxxxxxxxx**

"HELP! GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Queen banged viciously on the door.

**xxxxxxxxx**

"Nice," Tala replied poking at the lethal cafeteria food. At least it hadn't been the _tuna casserole. _He shuddered at the thought.

Kai looked up. "Thinking about the tuna casserole?"

Tala grimaced and Spencer tried not to puke at the thought. Brian was off in his own little happy place.

"Oh, KAI?"

Kai's head popped up. He then realized it was Emma calling him. "Crap!" Kai darted out of the cafeteria like a little speed demon. That was actually a new potential nickname. Spencer thought it fit him perfectly, and Tala was beginning to agree more and more. Brian didn't care. He was off in a happy place.

"This might be emotionally scarring enough to make Kai resort to the DDR machine for the next few months." Tala took another bite. "If we're lucky."

"Do you think Ms. Jack-o-Lantern has a boyfriend?" Brian asked half in thought.

Tala and Spencer stared wide eyed for a moment then replied simultaneously. "Uh, yes?"

Brian jumped up and yelled, "I'LL KILL HIM!" then ran out of the cafeteria screaming about evil ninja turtles. Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) Max heard the rants and ran out of the cafeteria and joined the screaming rants about evil ninja turtles.

Tala stared for a minute. "He'll be back." Wile Tala was eating, he noticed Johnny hop up and, what looked like, he was chasing down Max for Emily. He had seen everyone at that table gang up on him. An idea popped into Tala's head.

"Hey Spencer…"

Spencer looked up from his food.

"Did you notice that Johnny went after Brian and Max?"

Spencer turned around to see for himself, and visibly brightened when he saw Tala wasn't kidding. So…Mathilda was left unguarded…nice. Spencer stood up to go over to where Mathilda was. Tala grabbed his pudding. _'Hey, it works out for both of us.'_ He smirked.

Mathilda was still staring in the direction of that special table, when a shadow fell over her. She looked up to see Spencer. They stared for a few minutes until Mathilda said, "Um, what…is it?" Truthfully, he kind of scared her.

"Can I…sit with you?"

"Huh? Uh, well…"

Julia heard this, and was ready to protect her best friend. "HEY! Where's Queen, huh?"

"In the bathroom." Well, that wasn't a lie really…

**In the bathroom:**

"Can't…breathe…no oxygen…"

**Uh, well anyway…**

"Hmph…"

Then Brooklyn stood up. "Well, you should wait for her shouldn't you? Even if you hate her…"

Julia turned to Brooklyn. "Wow…that's cool of you."

Spencer pointed his finger at Julia. "Would you wait for her?"

"…No," Brooklyn mumbled, barely audible.

"WHAT?" (Julia)

"My point exactly."

While Julia and Brooklyn were at each other's throats (and Tyson and Hilary were trying to accomplish the task of pulling them apart…), Emily watched intently as Spencer sat down by Mathilda. Mathilda didn't seem to notice as she kept on watching the _special_ table.

Spencer eventually noticed this, and followed her gaze. His mouth dropped.

**Holy. Crap. On. A. Stick.**

About that time, Johnny and Brian walked back in with Max slung over their shoulders.

"Can you guys put me down?" Max asked as he wiggled around.

"Hell no!" Johnny said. "I'm not gonna have everyone getting onto me again."

"I need my DDR…" Brian whined.

Johnny rolled his eyes and in the process, caught a glimpse of his table. His mouth dropped. The wrath of the evil ninja turtles swelled up inside of him. He dropped Max and stomped over to the table. "Thank you!" Max said as he plonked to the floor. Then he noticed the table as well. "Oh boy…"

"Hey fatty!" Johnny slapped the back of Spencer's head when he got there. "Whaddya think yer doin'?"

Spencer turned around. "What was that cone head?"

"CONE HEAD? Oh, great comeback, really!"

"Bite me WHORE!" (Spencer)

"Get outta here and look at your FMA Manga or something!" (Johnny)

"How about you shut the hell up, and I kick your ass! Equivalent exchange, BITCH!" (Spencer) **(A/N: Stole that joke)**

Julia and Brooklyn had stopped fighting, and now turned to watch the verbal assaults that were being thrown by Spencer and Johnny. "Um, could you guys kind of…not fight?" Brooklyn suggested.

"BE QUIET PIGEON BOY!" They both shouted.

"PIGEON BOY?" Now it was a three-some argument.

"Guys, seriously, BE FRIENDS OR SOMETHING!" Tyson yelled.

"Or…Learn to dance!" Max shouted.

The three of them looked at him like he was psychotic. "What? Don'tcha like DDR?" Max replied. Because of the strange randomness and weirdness of Max's suggestion, the three just kinda shut-up and sat down.

"Learn to dance…?" Tyson sputtered after everyone sat down.

"Well yeah!" Max cheerfully responded. "Seriously Tyson, anyone with eyes can see you have no groove."

Everyone chuckled. Hilary pinched Tyson's cheek and said, "Yeah, Max. You should give Tyson here a go on the DDR machine." Everyone laughed.

**Okay, I updated. Sorry it's been a while, but school sucks, as I assume you all know. Review please! Also, I'll probably be updating my story, So Much For My Happy Ending next, but maybe not…I'm trying to update, but it's really hard! Please forgive!**


	4. TALA AND LEE ARE SO DEAD!

**Ya…I'm back. With another chapter stuff. I'm dedicating this to my BFF, Emily who is sick. FEEL SORRY FOR HER, MORTALS! Also, over Christmas break, I'm going to be staying at my families' places, so I won't be updating for a bit. However, DO NOT FRET! For while I am gone, I will write another chapter FOR EACH OF MY STORIES. I swear my on life.**

**Disclaimer: TyHil 4eva! Unfortunately, I don't own that pairing or Beyblade for that matter.**

So, since the assignment had been "spend time with your family" (everyone hated it by the way), everyone went over to each other's houses. Hilary stuck it out at Tyson's, Max and Emily just went to the library because Emily wanted to read some books and Max didn't care, Brooklyn didn't HAVE a home really, so he decided to head to the circus with Julia, Ray and Mariah went to Mathilda's house along with Johnny because Mathilda and Ray were actually okay friends.

Tyson and Hilary were staring at each other. It was like a glare contest. It went on and on and on…then Joan started crying.

"Tyson, you get her."

"What? No you!" Tyson replied, not stopping his glare.

"I'm the mom! I get her all the time!" Hilary nearly shouted.

"THAT'S WHAT MOMS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO!"

A kendo stick suddenly came down and gave the two of them a nice solid bruise. "Hey! Ya love birds are in this together! Ya dig?" Tyson looked up at his very strange grandpa.

"Grandpaaaaaaaaaaa!" he whined as he rubbed his bruised head.

Hilary rubbed her head as well. She wasn't used to being hit with a kendo stick. "Grandpa!" she sputtered. "That was totally mean!"

"Little dude, and dudette! You gotta cryin' kid over there!"

Tyson and Hilary looked at him guiltily. Tyson sighed. "Sorry Hil, I got it…"

"No, Tyson, I've got her."

"Seriously, I should help more! I'm actually offering help for once!"

"But I'm the mom! IT'S WHAT MOMS DO!"

Grandpa just stood there watching in disbelief. He shook his head and chuckled. He retreated out of the room to retrieve the phone when it rang. It gave him a reason to escape the two bickering 'parents'.

"Tyson! I'VE GOT HER!"

Tyson crossed his arms. "Fine!"

Hilary picked up the simulator, and tried to calm it, but nothing worked. All the meanwhile, Tyson was picking at her saying things like, "Can I try?" "Maybe she hates you" or "PUUUH-LEEEEEEZE!" until Hilary finally, totally upset, thrust the simulator into his arms.

"HERE! You try!" Hilary crossed her arms and smirked.

Tyson smiled and replied, "Thanks _Honey_."

Hilary was sure emphasized that last part just to bug her. Her eye twitched.

Tyson cleared his throat, and began to coo and sing lullabies to it. Hilary was actually surprised to see the simulator calming down, and even MORE so that Tyson had kind of a high, sweet voice when he sang. Hilary stifled a snicker. _'He can actually sing? That's amazing…'_

About that time, Grandpa walked into the room and caught Tyson singing. When Tyson, saw him, he immediately stopped and shoved the simulator into Hilary's hands flushing a bright shade of pink.

'_He's pink! Tyson's apparently very "feminine".'_ Hilary was doing her best not to laugh.

Grandpa finally began to speak. "Uh, sorry Homie, if I was interrupting somethin'…"

"N-N-No! O-Of course not!" Tyson shook his hands and reached for the phone. "Uh, haaaa…hello?"

Grandpa left the room as Tyson began a conversation with Max. "Max! What's up?"

"Tyson! It's snowing!" Max nearly shouted. "Emily's upset because we might be stuck here at library for a while, since it's snowing hard."

"No way!" Hilary actually yelled.

They looked outside to see snowflakes falling. "WOOHOO!" Tyson leapt about into the air. "Ouch!" He yelled when he hit the ceiling.

"Tyson, you shouldn't bounce on your bed," Hilary shook her finger.

"Yeah, thanks," he muttered rubbing his head.

"Guys?" Emily's voice was heard on the receiver. "You there?"

Hilary grabbed the phone Tyson had dropped. "Yeah, still here!"

"Hey!" Max voice was back on. "Let's try calling someone else, too!"

"Mathilda!" Both girls said at the same time.

Tyson continued to rub his head. "No, Ray!"

"Ray's house has no technology, Tyson," Emily replied like it was the most obvious thing in the entire world. "Neither does Mariah's."

"Aww…" he whined.

**Somewhere over the Rainbow (Mathilda's house)…**

"Guys! It's our turn!" Mariah whined as Ray was beating Johnny badly at Super Smash Bros Melee.

"NO! DAMMIT GANONDORF!" Johnny yelled as he slammed on the buttons randomly. He turned to Ray and asked, "How the heck can you beat me when you have like, no technology?"

"Why does everyone bring that up?"

"Because you have none, and everyone else does."

Ray rolled his eyes. "Whatever. And it's because you just suck," Ray replied, as his Peach beat the living shit out of Johnny's Ganondorf. "Hahaha…Ganondork."

"SHUT UP! Why the heck would you be Peach anyway?"

"…No reason…"

Mathilda looked up as she heard yelling from the living room. She muttered something and slammed her diary shut. She walked into the living room to see Johnny cursing as Peach did her winning pose for the 76th time. "Um, Johnny? I think you should stop. You're embarrassing me."

"Oooooh, dissed!" Mariah taunted.

"EMBARRASSING YOU?"

"Seriously, um, n-no offense, but…you play like an old lady…"

Johnny mouth dropped, while Mariah and Ray laughed until their sides hurt.

"Hey Johnny, you gonna take that from MATHILDA?" Mariah taunted some more.

They all stared at her for a minute before they all said, "Mariah, shut up."

"Yeah, okay. But it's still Mathilda and my turn!"

"They're right." Ray got up and went over to where Marcus was.

Johnny grumbled about losing to pink princess as he went to the back of their house. He heard their simulator 'crying', so being the "daddy" he went back to Mathilda's room. When he made it to her room, he picked it up and rushed a lullaby. "Shut up little freak butt don't say a word, otherwise daddy'll pull out his sword, and if you don't shut up then, He'll have to throw you in the garbage bin…" That's when he noticed her diary sitting on her nightstand. He put down the simulator, who had actually stopped crying, and opened it up. He scanned the pages, until he found the entry of the day the couples were assigned.

_Dec. 2, 2005_

_I got paired up with Johnny! Why? WHY GOD? Why couldn't it have been someone else?...Who didn't have a cone head!_

Johnny's eyebrow twitched like crazy.

_And besides! You know who I wanted to be paired with! (Although thanks that Julia got stuck with Brooklyn; that was great.) But why couldn't I have been with…_

Johnny turned the page and his jaw dropped. "**No. Fricken. Way**."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" someone yelled from the living room. The shrill noise made Johnny jump three feet into the air. He cursed and slammed the dairy back on the nightstand in a hurry. Once he got in the living room everything seemed normal. Ray was sitting on the couch with the simulator, and Mariah and Mathilda were playing SSBM.

"Who…screamed?"

Mathilda replied without turning her head, "Mariah. She broke a nail."

"WHAT?"

"I know!" Mariah paused the game to inspect her nails. "I'm glad to see _someone_ cares about their nails!"

Mathilda and Ray chuckled. Johnny slapped his forehead and slid onto the couch with Ray. Mariah unpaused it again, and their battle continued. Johnny then muttered, "Hey…why can't I and Ray just grab two other controllers? It's for 4 players…"

Mariah paused the game again and turned around. "Because it's the men's turns to look after the simulators."

"Could you not pause it while I'm attacking Mariah?" Mathilda asked. **(A/N: That is soooo annoying!)** Then she also replied, "Besides, I only have two controllers."

Ray looked up. "Why?"

"Because I'm dirt poor. One came with the Gamecube and the other I stole from Julia. Don't tell her."

Johnny's eyebrow went up. "Aren't you two best friends?"

"Like I said, Shhhhh…"

They all snickered, just as the phone started to ring. Mathilda stood up to go over to get the phone. When she had left the room, Mariah turned the game back on, in hopes of making a huge comeback against Mathilda's Roy.

"Hello? Oh, hi Max! Emily? Hilary and Tyson, too?"

"Yeah, hey Mat!" Emily said into the receiver.

"Are you guys all together?"

"No," Tyson's voice was heard.

"We just wanted to call everyone," Hilary finished.

"Oh, cool. I'll get the others."

"Others?" (Max)

"Yeah, Ray and Mariah are with us, too."

"Cool!" Tyson was obviously happy.

Mathilda carried the phone into the other room where Mariah was yelling at the TV screen.

"Seriously Mariah, how do you lose to someone WHO'S NOT PLAYING?" Johnny was cracking up.

"SHUT UP McGREGGOR!" Mariah yelled as she frantically smashed buttons trying to kill Roy.

"Mariah…haha…you…play…hahaha…worse than Johnny!" Ray was close to tears as Mariah's Fox fell off the edge for the fifteenth time.

Mathilda watched dumbfounded, then remembered the phone. **(A/N: Owww…My fingernail ;-; I chewed it down to a nub and it hurts now)** "Guys!" she motioned for their attention. "Tyson, Max, Emily and Hilary are on the phone."

"What?" (Mariah, who is STILL being beaten by Roy, who is just standing.)

"Okay, what do they want?" Johnny asked crossing his legs on the footrest.

Mathilda shrugged and handed the phone to Ray, who wanted to talk with Tyson and Max.

Mariah screamed again, as Fox fell off the edge. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

Everyone (including Max, Tyson, Emily and Hilary): "Mariah, shut up."

"Yeah, okay…"

As Ray continued to talk on the phone, he began to smile. Not the pleasant, "I'm-such-a-nice-person smile"; OR the "you're-so-cute-and-you-make-me-smile-because-you're-my-friend" smile either. This, my friends, was Ray smiling, MALICIOUSLY! **(A/N: Cue the dramatic music:O)** He turned around and said, "Hey, y'know Tyson's got this thing that allows you to be able to listen in on people's phone calls without them knowing."

Mariah was too busy screaming at level nothing Roy, but Mathilda and Johnny turned their heads. "Awesome! I needed some excitement!" Johnny yawned.

Mathilda shook her head. "No, that's rude."

"Aw, shut up!" Johnny flicked her nose. "Besides, if you don't shut up about it, I'll tell everyone who you like."

Mathilda stopped rubbing her nose, and gaped. Flames suddenly surrounded her. "YOU READ MY DIARY?"

Johnny immediately regretted his decision, and tried to calm her down. Ray stared, and shrugged. He hooked the phone up to Mathilda's stereo, so everyone could hear it. "Alright, Tyson, why don't you call Lee?"

"Lee? Why Lee?" Emily inquired.

Ray smirked. "Beeeeecauuuuuse…"

"You sound really creepy when you do that, Ray," Mariah stated turning off the Gamecube.

Johnny and Mathilda calmed down a bit (Mathilda didn't stay angry for long) and sat down and listened. "I want to hear Claude or Aaron next!" Mathilda squealed.

"I thought you said it was rude!" sniffed Johnny.

"Well, you DID say it was getting boring," she pointed out.

"Feh!"

"Oooookay. Well, I guess we'll spy on Lee," Hilary's voice was heard. "Besides, I want to know why he's been acting so weird."

"What do ya mean?" Max asked.

"Max," Mariah answered, "Lee's been running around campus spying on people, and then running away, laughing maniacally when he's found out. I think that might possibly _mean_ something."

"Possibly," Johnny remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Okay, okay! I'm dialing!" Tyson's voice said.

There was some static, and dial tones, then, Lee's voice was heard. _"Man, I'm having the time of my life!"_

"_Uh-huh…Don't you think people might be noticing something with you running around spying on people, and then laughing maniacally when found out?"_

"That's Tala's voice!" Ray whispered.

"_I know, but it's so, FUN!"_

"…_Yyyyyyyeah…Well, the fun part was actually seeing how they reacted when they were paired up."_

Everyone grew wide-eyed and listened.

"_Yeah, I guess…"_

"_Come on! And it took pure brilliance to pull it off! Y'know, arranging for Mr. Straight's boyfriend to be there, so he wouldn't realize that we switched the couples? Awesome."_

Everyone's mouths dropped, and Johnny cracked his knuckles. On the other phone, Hilary and Tyson looked like they were ready to murder someone, and as with Max and Emily, they were just dumbfounded.

"_Who was your favorite by the way?"_

Lee was quiet for a minute. _"Um, Mathilda and Johnny! That was totally hilarious!"_

Mathilda squeezed the couch pillow she was holding so tight the stuffing poured out of it.

"_Yours?"_

"_Er…Julia and Brooklyn, or Tyson and Hilary!"_

"_Oh, yeah, those were awesome too."_

Hilary couldn't take the suspense. "YOU JACKASS!"

Her voice ran through the receiver and hit Tala and Lee hard. _"Umm, Lee?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_That wasn't you was it?"_

"_Unfortunately, no."_

"_Crap."_

"WHO WAS I PAIRED UP WITH? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CHANGE IT TO JOHNNY?"

"YEAH! Wait…HEY!" Johnny turned on Mathilda.

"YOU IDIOTS!" Everyone screamed into the phone. Tala and Lee obviously knew they were dead.

**In case you were wondering where Julia and Brooklyn were this entire time…**

"What do ya think, Raul?" Julia asked her brother. "We could just dress him up in feathers, and he could be the living human/pigeon!"

"I'M NOT A PIGEON BOY!"

"I dunno Julia…" Raul responded.

"RAUL-POO!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Raul screamed at Bianca, his partner.

**Yah, I finally got this up. Merry Christmas! REVIEW OR ELSE!**


	5. BitBeasts are out to kill us

**Yah, I'm finally back from my grounded-ness. I'm totally gonna update now. My spelling of Ray's name may alternate randomly throughout the fic from Ray to Rei. Just a warning.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade. Duh.**

"Hey…Tyson…How did you get that machine?" Ray asked.

"Kenny built it," Tyson replied.

Ray and Tyson were still talking on the phone casually, while everyone else was plotting revenge for Tala and Lee. Mariah had suggested they put makeup on them in their sleep or something. Mathilda and Johnny said that wasn't evil enough. Johnny said they hire a hitman or…something like that. Mathilda shook her head at the poor fools. She then pulled out a diagram.

"No, what we need to do is trap them in the school. We could tell the teachers about it, and then they would be in after-school detention, then, we pull some strings and get the other kids out of detention. Then while they're in this classroom" she pointed on the map "Johnny will walk in with a gun, they will be scared shitless, and run out, where I" she pointed somewhere else "will have conveniently dug a spike pit, and they will fall and die; or if they survive that, Rei will have locked the front doors, and we can go in and kill them both when they're up against the doors begging for mercy."

"…"

What was so creepy about that was that she said it all with a completely innocent face.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, which diverted their attention from the crazy plan their adorable little psychopath had come up with.

"…Oh, right this is my house." Mathilda got up and answered the door, only to find Julia, Brooklyn, Tyson, Emily, Max and Hilary at the door. "Uh…hi! How'd you?"

"Well…" started Julia, "Me and Brook were at the circus, and he walked off the library which was ironically next door-"

"-and then they ran into us at the library," Emily pointed to her and Max.

"And then I wanted to go to Tyson's house, which I had forgotten was next door!" Max yelled.

"And they all came over-" Hilary stated.

"-and then I realized you guys were right next door," Tyson finished.

"Uh, okay, but aren't you supposed to live in a dojo somewhere in Japan? And doesn't Mathilda live somewhere in Europe?" (Johnny)

"Oh yeah…craziness, huh?" (Mathilda)

O.o;

"That's pretty weird." Julia spoke for all of them.

They just stood around for a minute until Mathilda was like, "Oh yeah. Come in."

So they kind of awkwardly walked into the house. Oh, the snowstorm? It disappeared…magically. Yeah. That's how things are in the Beyblade world. They're magical. Personally, Hilary thought it was the bit-beasts mind control. But, when she asked the blade breakers, they got all dark and scary and chased her out of the dojo with kendo sticks. She went back the next day, and they didn't remember it at all. _TWILIGHT ZONE!_

Cough. Yeah, anyway…

So they sat around for a while doing nothing. Seriously, _nothing_. Until Rei's like, "Dude, we should totally play Truth or Dare."

And everyone else was like, "Totally."

Except Hilary, who said, "Since when do you talk Valley-Girl, Rei?"

Ray suddenly got all dark and his left eye started twitching. "I. Am. Not. Drigger."

Hilary: O.O Eh?

"Okay let's play!" Tyson yelled.

"Okay!" Ray was suddenly back to himself.

Creepy.

"Me first!" Julia yelled. "Okay, um…You!"-she pointed at Johnny "Tall hair boy! I dare you to let Mariah give you a fricken haircut for that hair that makes my eyes bleed!"

He became wide-eyed. "NEVERSSSSSSS!" he hissed. He ran and hid in a corner. Until Mariah came at him with hairspray and chased him into the kitchen or something. There was a loud bong, and then everything got really quiet.

"My turn? Okaaaay…" Tyson looked around not even caring what happened to Johnny. Of course, nobody really noticed, because he has bad hair. People with bad hair are not supposed to be noticed. "Um…Mathilda!" Her head moved boredly up. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Ha! I dare you to…kill a squirrel!"

"…"

Mathilda got up and went outside. Everyone was kinda like…o.o" Cause, Mathilda was the president of the Squirrel-lovers club at school. She would always talk about how cute they were and stuff. They were even more shocked when she dragged a squirrel carcass into the room and threw it at Tyson's face.

"…Hey Mathilda? Is it that time of month again?" Julia asked.

"Yeah. You wanna bring it bitch?"

"…Uh, no?"

"Okay." She slumped her head back down again.

Julia knew this was bad. When her real, sweet, little Mathilda finally returned, she would need a giant tub of ice cream…and pliers. She always asked for that when she was upset. Crazy thing, Julia had never actually seen what Mathilda did with the pliers…

Emily's turn. "Um, Rei?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to burn your Beyblade."

Rei was like, "Fine woman!" So he brought out some matches…which had been…in his pants…or something…and lit it. Then his arm suddenly MOVED ON ITS OWN WILL!

:O

First, it flew upwards and hit the curtains. "WHA?" Ray was in total shock. He quickly grabbed it off the curtains and tried to put the match to his Beyblade, completely ignoring the fact that the curtains were now aflame. But his arm moved AGAIN! This time it threw the match behind his head and burned his ponytail off. So he just gave up, and went to go weep in a corner over the loss of his ponytail.

So, Mathilda yelled at the fire and it went out. Like I said earlier, the Beyblade world is magical. But OF COURSE, the char marks on the floor were _around_ his beyblade. Cough.

It was about that time that Mariah and pulled Johnny out of the kitchen. His was…_normal_. Woah. Talk about the apocalypse. Like short hair…that was on his head. Then everyone noticed him, because he had cool hair, and not stupid cone hair.

So people played truth or dare for like, another hour or something, until Brooklyn (who never got a turn by the way) whined to Julia, "How, long are we going to be here?"

"My dear Brooklyn, you are stuck here, FOREVER!" Max yelled with a flashlight up to his face.

Brooklyn went off to a corner to go cry. Then he decided he was just gonna leave, so he went to the door to…leave. He tried to turn the door knob, but it wouldn't turn. He blinked in confusion as he tried to turn it again. It still wouldn't open. "Um, Mathilda?"

"Eh?"

"Your door won't open."

"Huh?" Mathilda got up and walked over to the door and opened it. She looked at him like he was stupid or something, and shut it. "Try now."

Brooklyn tried, but the door wouldn't budge. Mathilda tried, and opened it. This pattern continued for the next few minutes, until Mathilda just opened the door and shoved him out…and everyone else.

Brooklyn took a moment to stare at the door. _Oh, it's ON!...I'll be back…DOOR!_

**Yeah, kinda short, I realize, but I haven't updated this in like, half-a-year or something. R&R.**


	6. Field trip of DOOM

**Ah…Hahaha…ha? Hi? Please don't kill me for taking an eternity. I'm in high school. Forgive me. **

**Disclaimer: Beyblade is something I don't own. **

**Field Trip of Doom**

"Woot! Field trip!" Max did a little cart wheel as everyone filed onto the bus.

Everyone stared at Max. Well, y'know until Tyson was like, "Woot! Field trip!" and tried to do a somersault. He just succeeded in getting his arm broken.

So everyone got mad at Tyson because they had to wait another two hours before they could leave. He was promptly attacked with various fruits and vegetables. Tyson's eyes watered up, and he started bawling like a flippin baby. Max pointed and laughed.

So, being embarrassed that they actually knew those people, Mathilda, Julia, Johnny, Brooklyn, Emily, and Hilary scuttled off to a picnic table on campus.

"…Why am I still hanging out with you people?" Brooklyn wondered aloud.

"Dunno. We really can't stand you," Julia yawned.

"I hate you."

"I hate you, too."

"I hate Johnny."

"Well, I hate you shy girl!"

"I have a name."

"Yeah, shy girl."

"Her name is Mathilda, asshole!"

"What'd you call me?"

"Well, she is shy…"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't have a _name_…"

"SEX!"

Everyone stopped and looked at Emily.

"What?" she blinked.

Everyone sighed. Then Lee and Tala walked by. Mathilda glared. Julia glared. Emily glared. Brooklyn glared. Johnny picked his nose. Hilary glared. Lee and Tala saw them glaring. Then they turned around and ran for their lives.

"Come back here, ya damn assholes!" Julia sprinted after them as they screamed like little girls.

Silence. "Well. Julia has a temper doesn't she?" Hilary scratched her head.

Mathilda nodded solemnly. "Yeah. This is pretty passive, though. I remember one time…" So Mathilda went on to tell a really long and gory story that has no real relevance to this Fic. But if you must know, it had to do with a guy that was taking to long to order his Subway sandwich, and Julia was PMSing and ended up castrating the guy. Needless to say, after _that_ story, Johnny and Brooklyn mentally noted to be really, really nice to Julia…all the time. Or either just squeeze their legs really tight together whenever she was around, despite the small pains they may suffer.

When Julia finally returned, she had a bag that was dripping a red substance. "Hahaha…well THOSE two won't mess with us again!" she cackled.

Johnny and Brooklyn shit in their pants.

_Oh…My…Cookie…_Brooklyn twitched as he squeezed his legs. _"Never…Never, will I EVER…piss her off. And I really gotta go pee._ He didn't dare though. Heck, he was scared to move!

Johnny twitched uncontrollably. _NO…RIPPING…OFF…Mr. Lala!_

The girls clapped.

"Wanna see?" Julia said with glee. Aw, she looked like an excited little child.

"Yeah!" all the girls clapped.

"Okay, then!" She opened the bag and reached in. "Here…"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Johnny and Brooklyn ran away…while shitting themselves some more.

The girls watched in confusion. Julia shrugged and pulled out…Some sweet and sour chicken. "Now…Those two will have no…LUNCH! Muahaha!" Julia cackled evilly.

The other girls just stared at the chicken. "Gr-Great…" they all replied. I'd be lyin' if I said they hadn't been hoping Julia had castrated those two.

* * *

"NOOO! MY SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN!" Lee got on his knees and wept.

Tala just stared. Then he walked off to be with his "real" friends. He looked on to find Spencer and Bryan. Spencer was reading manga, and Bryan was drawing.

"Since when do you draw?" He asked Bryan walking up.

Bryan's eyes grew wide as he realized who was walking up to see his masterpiece. "NO!" Bryan hissed. "MINE!" he narrowed his eyes. "YOU NO SEE!" He cradled the picture closely, and crawled off somewhere to be alone with it.

Tala just stared for a minute before turning to Spencer. "What's with him?"

Spencer didn't notice Tala.

"Hey!" Tala snapped his fingers. "HEY!" he clapped his hands. Pouting, he turned around to think. Then he got a light bulb thing over his head. If you're wondering how that happened, just go back to the last chapter and read the part that talks about magic. ANYWAY, Tala was like, "Hey Spencer…You have to eat the _Tuna casserole_ today."

No response.

"Hey! JULIA CASTRATES MEN!"

No response.

"I think yer gay."

Spencer flipped the page.

"They found Queen's body in the bathroom!"

Spencer laughed evilly for a second, then kept on reading.

"…FUCK YOU MAN!" Then a football Steven threw somewhere hit Tala in the head and he keeled over.

Spencer took this time to look up from his manga. Then he shrugged and read some more.

* * *

After a while, Johnny and Brooklyn's voices became hoarse from running around screaming like little girls. So they got bored and walked back under the picnic table. Except, like, NO ONE WAS THERE!

"Oh, why God? WHY?" Brooklyn croaked and fell to the ground weeping.

"They left us! How could they?" Johnny wailed. Well, y'know, as much as he could with that sore throat of his.

In reality, the girls had just gone to the bathroom. And since the lines to the girls bathroom are ALWAYS too long, they got tired of waiting, and Julia pulled out some circus torches and laid claim to the boys' bathroom. After they had finally relieved themselves they got a chance to find out why the line to the girls bathroom never shrunk.

Apparently someone had locked Queen in there, and she had died about a week after from starvation, thirst, suffocation, and HIV. Julia and Mathilda stared…then shrugged and walked back to the picnic table. Hilary and Emily took a little more time, however.

Hilary pointed and laughed. Emily started crying. _Damn her! She owed me money!_ She thought through the tears. As much as we may sympathize with Emily, we must move on.

Johnny and Brooklyn were under the tree/picnic table place huddling and crying. Then Julia and Mathilda walked up. The two boys shouted for joy and leapt to hug their girls!...but then they stopped since Julia had the potential of turning them into transvestites and if they hugged Mathilda and NOT Julia, Julia would get mad.

So they stopped, and huddled back into the corner.

Then Emily and Hilary walked up.

"OH THANK YOU GOD!"

"HUG ME BITCH!"

Johnny latched himself Emily, and Brooklyn started crying on Hilary.

Emily bitch slapped Johnny. "I ain't yo ho foo'!"

"Okay." He let go.

Max showed up, and did a cartwheel and kicked Johnny in the jaw. "Hell yeah! She's mah ho, foo'!"

"…Excuse me?" Emily blinked.

"I dunno," Max shrugged.

"Oh, holy crap, that hurt!" Johnny poked his bleeding lip.

Mathilda kicked some dirt on him.

Then Tyson walked up and bitch slapped Brooklyn. "Off my woman!"

Hilary blinked. "He wasn't even touching me anymore."

"…So?"

Between this conversation, Brooklyn's eyes had welled up, and he run off crying.

"PIGEON-KUN!" Julia yelled. She chased after him. Before she got too far, she turned around and pointed Tyson with a glint in her eyes. "You're on my hit list!" she whispered, before scampering off to find the emotionally disturbed pigeon-boy.

Everyone was quiet, until Mathilda said, "Um, why are you here? Is it time to go?" She looked up and the sky, which was adorned with a sunset.

"Nah!" Tyson waved his hand. "We already went!"

Hilary's eye twitched. "…What?"

That's when everyone noticed Max and Tyson's Mickey Mouse hats and Disney World balloons.

"Oh my gosh! You guys went to Disney World?"

"Yeah, you guys suuuuuuure missed out!" Max laughed.

At that point Max and Tyson were under attack by Hilary, who's childhood dream had been to go to Disney World.

So they ran off, and Mathilda, Emily, and Johnny were left there. Actually, Johnny was out of it. So Emily and Mathilda thought it would be funny to leave him there. So they did.

"Wanna go paint the town purple?" Emily asked.

"Hell yes!"

So Mathilda and Emily scurried off to rob several house ware stores.

THE END

…Of this chapter

**End chapter. I'm shocked I was able to post this, much less _write_ it! I should really finish my FMA fic, seeing as though there's only two more chapters…Meh, R&R, homies. This fics pairings _as of now_ are:**

**Onesided JulBrook**

**Onesided JohnMat**

**Onesided SpenMat**

**TyHil**

**Onesided MaxEm**

**RayMar**


	7. Character death in detention

**Woot. Hi. Updation time. Characters that have tragically died in this fic: Ian and Queen. This chapter is full of swear words and pervertedness. You're welcome **

**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO: **Ariados. Because they were the only person to review the last time.

**Disclaimer: Lallyzippo only owns this fic.**

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Mathilda and Emily were being sent to detention. After robbing several warehouse stores, and painting about the entire town purple, the city council decided that all these cute, innocent little girls needed was a week's worth of solid, after-school detention. Ha, pushovers.

Mathilda and Emily were gonna go in alone, but then they were told that because of their assignment, Johnny and Max could not leave them at all after school.

_Fuck._

So Mathilda, Johnny, Emily, and Max had after-school detention.

"This sucks!" Johnny yelled. "What the hell were you thinking? Painting the entire town purple…"

"We were THINKING that it would be awesome and kick-ass!" Mathilda yelled back at him. Yeah, she was pretty much past that whole, 'I'm just a sweet, innocent, little, shy girl' thing. Even if people still saw her as that. And it had actually worked in her favor this time; detention, psh, next week she and Julia were gonna put Principle Dickenson's car on the school roof!

"Purple, though, why? Why not…RED or something?"

"…Because red sucks."

"Purple sucks!"

"Your mom sucks!"

Johnny's eyes grew wide. "Y-you! You dissed my momma!" then he curled into a little ball and cried.

But Mathilda couldn't just leave him there, so she grabbed him by his bandana and dragged him all the way to the classroom.

Emily and Max just walked along quietly. Mainly because Emily had duck-taped her partner's mouth shut.

When they got into the room, there they saw Mr. Straight with a few familiar faces.

"…Oliver?" Johnny questioned as he got out of his little comfort ball.

Oliver's eyes grew wide. "I-I swear! It's not me, Johnny!" He pointed to Ming-Ming. Well ya see, after Ian committed suicide, it meant that there were more girls to go around. So Ming-Ming was reassigned to be Oliver's partner. He was originally going to be Crusher's partner (originally, meaning when Tala and Lee took charge).

"What's she in here for?" Emily blinked.

Ming-Ming shrugged. "Prostitution."

Emily blinked. "Okay then."

Johnny glanced at Oliver. "I-I…NO! I swear! Other guys, not me! I'M A PURE SOUL!"

Emily, Mathilda, Johnny, and Max sat down. "Wow," Emily blinked. "I could've sworn that all guys were total assholes who only lived to fuck anything else that breathed."

"Mainly, yes," answered Johnny.

"We just don't _tell_ people when we do prostitutes," Max explained, ripping off the duck tape. "When it's with non-sluts, it's considered good."

"Besides, unicorns only dwell around pure souls," Johnny continued. "If Oliver and Unicolyion want to stay where they are, he has to stay pure."

"…WOW, you guys…You just crushed any little hope I had for the opposite gender," Mathilda banged her head on the desk. "And I thought Max was pure!"

Max shrugged. "I am, but you don't want other people to _know_ that."

"Max…it's _really_ obvious."

Max slapped his face. "GREAT! Now I have to act like a slut just to get by!"

"Max…no." Emily shook her head. "Just…no. Stay the way you are."

Max smiled at her and gave her puppy-dog eyes.

"…And don't do that."

"Okie-Dokie!"

Johnny looked to the side to see Brian doodling.

"Hey…it's Brian," he nodded towards the boy. "Sooo…watcha drawin'?"

Brian looked up and hissed at them.

"Nevermind."

Mathilda turned to Brian's partner, Rosetta. "What're you in here for?"

She shrugged. "Like, Brian kept, like, stalking, like, like, that one, like, teacher, like, chick, like."

Emily blinked. "Holy crap. I could not understand a fucking word of that."

"Hey, like, like, I, like, have, like, like—"

"Rothetta! Thop thpeaking Lathin and lithen!" Mr. Straight yelled. "You all are here becauthe you have been bad, and now, you are going to draw poniesth!"

Everyone groaned. "Thut the hell up! You'll work for an hour…go!" Then Mr. Straight left the room.

So everyone drew ponies for a while, until Max got bored and had to go to the bathroom. So he ran out singing, "I'm a big kid now!" Emily, Mathilda and Johnny pretended they didn't know him.

But he was taking a while, so Emily got worried and got up to go check on him. "Um, Emily…He's in the BATHROOM. As in, the GUYS bathroom."

"Crap, you're right Johnny." Emily pondered for a moment before she grabbed him by the collar and said, "Then YOU check on him for me!"

"Why should I?"

"I'll paint the town red."

"…Scarlet?" Johnny asked with big eyes.

Emily resisted the urge to punch him in the face. "…Sure."

Johnny leapt for joy out of the room. Which was somewhat mortifyingly creepy. Unfortunately, everyone else thought he was making a break for it, so they ran out of the room with him.

Mathilda and Emily sat there for a moment. "…Fuck." They both hopped up and ran out after everybody else.

They ran to the bathrooms, and everyone was there. Johnny squeezed his way through everyone, and said: "I couldn't find him!"

"I'll check the girl's room!" Emily said turning to the opposite door. Johnny and Mathilda stared at her. "He gets 'em mixed up sometimes!" she added on her way in.

Mathilda and Johnny looked at each other, then shrugged.

Inside, Emily found Ming-Ming trying to explain what a blow job was to Max. He wasn't quite getting it.

"STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY INNOCENT LITTLE SUGARCANE!" Emily grabbed Max's head and cradled it for a moment whispering things like, 'It's okay, the ugly hooker is gone', or 'I'm here! I'm here!'.

Ming-Ming and Rossetta looked at each other. Then they shrugged and talked about slutty things.

About that time, Brian burst through the door. "Listen up chicks!...and Max! We can hear some weird conversations going on in the gym! Come listen with us!"

Everyone came out of the girls' room to meet up with all the guys…and Mathilda. So they all snuck over to the door to the gym and listened.

"…the plan is brilliant!" said a voice.

"Uh, yes. I know. That's why I gave the idea to Mr. Straight." It was Mr. Gideon!

"I mean, who would have thought a plan to take over the best beybladers in the world (which would later lead to the control of the world) through a marriage project?"

Everyone got wide-eyed. Well, except Emily and Brian who were like, 'Holy crap, this is so cliché.'

"With Voltaire and my plans, and your help, I Boris, shall take over the world!" then the speaker launched into this really long, really cliché evil laugh.

"…Um, Boris?" another voice questioned (presumably Voltaire). "Why are you revealing all our mastermind plans when we already know them?"

"Dramatic effects my friend."

"…And in a high school GYM?"

"Because it echoes in here! ECHO!" The gym went, "Echo…echo…cho." Then Boris laughed evilly again.

Not being able to stand the laughter any longer, Voltaire practically screamed: "BORIS SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!"

Then silence. Johnny just got brave enough to look around the gym door…only to see a gray-haired man get stabbed in the face. He stared for a minute before turning back slowly.

"ARRRRRHG!" Voltaire's voice was heard.

"BORIS! What the fuck?" Gideon screamed.

"What? He bugged me."

Silence.

"Okay then. Are you just gonna leave the body here?"

"…Yeah, why?"

"Just checking."

About that time Rosetta's phone rang.

"What the hell?!" Boris screamed. He advanced on the door.

"Run like a puppy with diarrhea!" Max screamed.

Everyone stared at him.

"…Ew." Oliver commented.

Max glared at him. "Pretend it's the tuna casserole coming to greet us!"

Everyone screamed and ran for their lives.

As they turned corners they could hear footsteps behind them. Running up and down hallways, the footsteps followed. Then they started going up the tallest staircase in the school.

"What are we supposed to do?" Ming-Ming yelled.

"We need a decoy!" Mathilda panted.

"I got one!" Brain stopped and picked up Rosetta. Then he tossed her over the railing.

She screamed and fell. She landed on her butt. "Ow…" she whined. I know, geez. She is a total whiner.

Rosetta looked around. She couldn't see her friends anywhere, nor could she hear them. She could, however, hear the sounds of another's footsteps coming nearer and nearer.

…The Mr. Straight jogged up.

"Oh! Like, Mr. Straight, like, I, like, was, like—"

"Uh! Rothetta! Tho, um, you're alone?"

She blinked, then nodded.

So Mr. Straight stabbed her in the face and walked off, whistling innocently. Fortunately, (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) Rosetta was still alive and kicking. Or rather, screaming. About her face. Then a janitor above 'accidentally' dropped a giant trash can over the railing. Rosetta screamed and covered her face, which was ruined anyway. Then the trash can landed a few feet away from her. She stared for a minute before pointing up at the ceiling and laughing.

And then an old couple who were lost accidentally ran over her in their golf cart.

ANYWAY, everyone else who actually mattered made it back to the classroom before Mr. Straight, and were able to continue drawing ponies.

"Good job clath!" Mr. Straight clapped. "Since I'm in such a good mood that Rothetta—I, I mean thome generic nobody ith dead…No more detenthion!"

Everyone cheered happily, completely forgetting that they just overheard a plot for world-domination. Emily was so happy she swore to never shut Max up again. This was short-lived. Johnny was so happy, he swore to paint his room purple for Mathilda (not like she cared). Max was so happy, he did a cartwheel; which ended up socking Rosetta in the jaw (who had just made it to the room half-alive) and sending her out the window. Not that anyone cared. Ming-Ming was so happy, she _almost_ gave up prostitution. Almost. Brian was so happy…well, we can't really tell when Brian's happy. So Mathilda was basically the only one who was still worried about the world-domination plan.

Oh, yeah. And Oliver was so happy that he invited everyone who was still alive to his mansion, where he would could a meal for 'em. And he even let them invite whoever they wanted. Brian pulled out his phone and called the Dark Bladers.

Mathilda invited Julia (which meant Brooklyn would be there, too). Max invited Tyson (which meant Hilary would be there, too). Ming-Ming had to 'be' somewhere that night, so she handed her invitation to her team. Johnny ended up begging Robert to go. His excuse was that he didn't wanna be surrounded by losers. Robert didn't really _buy_ that, but he agreed.

So they were gonna have a party!

Yay.

…

Oh, dear holy entity.

**Yah, I actually have a blast with this fic. I just have a hard time updating. PLEASE REVIEW.**


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